11-09-05| 3:03 pm

He did not understand. How do you say "I'm not like other girls"? I did not make it up, I swear, but try telling it to someone who has only known other girls. "I'm me. I do things differently."

Relax, relax, relax, relax--I'm beginning to think I don't understand. This is how I live. Frenetic energy--to me, you are wasting time. There is the matter of your slightly altered mental states; but no, it's not just you--I've heard it before.

But how perceptive: "So you've never had a great love?" What I'm trying to explain to you is no, I can barely scrape together enough emotion to bother liking you. I don't spend hours reveling in my feelings because I don't have them, do you get it, I'm not like you. I am not romanticizing what happens here and I expected the same from you.

I'll work through these issues before I die.