08-19-09| 7:41 pm

Seemingly impossible to make this work. I don't know what to say, what to write. I don't know what I feel. Two men, two relationships. I am sleeping with one and sleeping next to the other. And yet.

How thin can you be, how smart, how put together. How much can you drink, how long can you party, how much confidence can you have.

I am exhausted. Every day. Enjoying it all but I put one man on a plane today knowing that when he comes back, everything will change.