01-16-09| 12:53 am

my laptop is trying to die regardless of the abundance of feelings I am trying to record--so many that I almost jot them down on notepaper, store quick memos in my phone, but then realize that it's all the same feeling anyway; Love.

My age has caught up with me, finally. No longer the little girl waiting for adulthood, no longer the young woman who feels like a lost child. Last year I learned and this year I will use. Gradually free of all ties except those to myself.

It is frightening and cumbersome but this is adulthood.