10-30-08| 8:26 am

One last time, let's make it count.

I am watching the lips of the man I love as they form the words "I am not in love with you" and all I can think is you're not serious, you can't be serious, and I am waiting for him to stop until I realize that he is serious. And then nothing makes sense.

And then I sleep next to the man who has just ended our relationship and I have a nightmare and I cry out and he hugs me closer and soothes me and I love him but I can't decide which is worse, the dream or the false comfort of his arms.