01-24-06| 1:44 am

I can't find my morals, did I ever have any?

Maybe when I said I would never drink and I swore I would never do worse things it was because I was never popular enough to have the chance. Drop sizes gain friends and find opportunities. Something about that seems wrong, yes.

I am thinking about involving myself in something completely immoral and would that be a turning point, no going back, or would it be one more meaningless event, life goes on, isn't that how I always lived? I can't get a clear idea of myself lately, now or then, I can't even fucking figure out what I look like anymore. Is this the same girl who was thankful for every breath and every smile?

what the hell am I doing right now.

I watched tv and learned self worth and self image are not the same. (they are.) I talked and she told me to become someone I admire. (two months ago people admired me.)

so what am I doing and am I doing it right?