02-12-05| 1:46 am

Once, my friend and I, we dreamed important dreams.

"I'm worried about money," she told me , and I told her, I sat there and I told her that it will work out. I sat there and I said if you follow your heart, it will work out. I looked at her and I said this and I meant it.

I called her tonight because this is what I realized: it might not work out. I called her and I cried because I wanted someone to tell me that I was doing what I am supposed to do and I cried because all we came up with is how much it hurts--unbelievable, inconceivable. This is beyond love and this is beyond heartbreak and this is beyond us: things might not work out. We are planning our LIVES following our HEARTS and these things MIGHT NOT WORK OUT.

This is destroying me and I don't know what to do.