09-05-04| 10:36 pm

I am frightened to hear myself talk- My tone belies my age. Late nights and thin walls will wreak havoc on your mind and on your heart; so squeeze your eyes shut and breathe deeply while remembering that none of it is your fault.

Now I am hearing the very same edge and I am worried. I want you to know that I care about you, that I love you, but every time I try to tell you the words are sharp and I'm sure they sting so I will keep quiet and wish that my past hadn't shaped my present in this way. A little self analysis and I know where I'm placing the blame; maybe someone should get me some therapy.

I am concerned about my life right now. I was too caught up in daydreams to understand the choices that I made.