2003-09-12| 9:20 p.m.

But I can't take anymore of this empty, unhappy feeling. There is anger, there is bewilderment, but always there is an unshakeable sadness. I don't want to be overwhelmed by depression, I don't want the tears that appear every time I'm not forcing myself to think of something else. I've never been this girl and I don't want to be this girl but I can't help it and I can't take it.