2003-03-16| 1:33 a.m.

It should be difficult to go out and have fun with people who don't even wait until you're out of the car to say how much they can't stand you.

Should be, but wasnt.

I wish I could get this out of my head, I wish that I knew you weren't saying how much I this and how much I that, and I wish everything was how it used to be when none of this mattered.

Things were so much simpler when you had two best friends forever, whom you saw every day and who you didn't have to impress. I'm sick of this starting over, acting like we're best friends when in reality we would never be friends if there was someone else to be friends with, when in reality we would never get along but here we're thrown together and have to.

Maybe I just want to feel like I'm not the one trying so very hard.