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01-24-06|
1:44 am
I can't find my morals, did I ever have any? Maybe when I said I would never drink and I swore I would never do worse things it was because I was never popular enough to have the chance. Drop sizes gain friends and find opportunities. Something about that seems wrong, yes. I am thinking about involving myself in something completely immoral and would that be a turning point, no going back, or would it be one more meaningless event, life goes on, isn't that how I always lived? I can't get a clear idea of myself lately, now or then, I can't even fucking figure out what I look like anymore. Is this the same girl who was thankful for every breath and every smile? what the hell am I doing right now. I watched tv and learned self worth and self image are not the same. (they are.) I talked and she told me to become someone I admire. (two months ago people admired me.) so what am I doing and am I doing it right?
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